This is for the girl who feels like, “I care too much”… Struggling with being the committed one and others are commitaphobes or faux friends. Hi, I am you. Did you know that according to a 2014 Pew Research Center report, 32% of people don’t know if they ever want to marry?… Doesn’t mean they don’t date. So if you’re in a relationship with a commitaphone or even a faux friend – I’ve been there. Here’s how that “problem” became my purpose.
Growing up, I always longed to be around people. I am an only child. So, if my parents weren’t home, I was alone. Typically, I invited my best friend over every
Sometimes, even if I was with my parents, I felt like their third wheel. I’m not sure why, even. At a young age, I wanted a relationship of my own. My first “boyfriend” was when I was five, just to give you a little clue… (Clearly, I was a very serious 5-year-old.)
When making friends I would feel deeply invested in
Maybe you’re like me and enjoy feeling a connection with people. And when friends prove themselves to be only surface level friends, you’re hurt and offended.
In my teen years, I had a couple of long term boyfriends. As you can see, I was always over-committed in relationships.
I was looking for Mr. Right in all the wrong places? Maybe that sounds familiar… You can find a Prayer for a Soulmate here, along with a personalized mini-book for designing your own Prayer for a Soulmate!
I am an introvert. But when I would get to know someone, I would feel safe or comfortable with them. Maybe that’s why I would think their relationship meant so much to me.
Fast forward a little further to college. College was hard for me, being an introvert. I feel rejuvenated in a familiar, structured environment. That is the opposite of how you make friends in college and the
I would get so irritated with myself. It seemed to be this lifelong loneliness. I wanted to be social: but, I just didn’t know how to blend in if I didn’t know anyone. If I was around a friend, I was fine. But when I wasn’t it, I was overwhelmed.
What did I go to school for? Oh, you know, the light-hearted career of counseling. Just love me some intense feelings… 😀
why do i care so much?
Much later in life, I realized God designed me to seek out relationships for a reason. His reason. It wasn’t my reason… It wasn’t so I could be best friends with everyone, have tons of friends in college or get married at a young age.
I want to share my revelation with you, because maybe God designed you to long for something similar.
The Purpose: He has a goal in making us desire friendships and deep relationships with people. I realized that in my yearning to feel included and have meaningful relationships with people, God was giving me a way to share Him with others.
But before I was ready to share Christ with others, I had to prioritize Him. I had to dig deep into his Word and develop a deeper relationship with Him. God took those years of deep longing for relationships to show me the relationship I was needing most. The only one I needed.
My parents raised me, in the faith, and so discussing God at our house, singing hymns or going to church, regularly, was normal. Without knowing if that is normal for other people, I end up talking about God with strangers.
How I learned to Fall in Love with God
In these deeper relationships, the other person can tell that you care about them and are a Christian. Having the love of Jesus in your heart is an attractive quality. It opens the door for them to listen to you and share where your joy comes from.
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God cares that we care
You know how we all have our own plans and then there are God’s plans? You may feel like this personality trait that you have for caring too much for others is a flaw, but take heart. God cares about everyone too! He also feels hurt and rejected by others. It doesn’t mean He stops loving us or caring for us. Hallelujah!
He knows what is best for you and where to put you. Trust in the Lord and He will show you the way.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Who did God make you to be? Do you desire really deep, committed relationships with people? Especially men, to feel “complete”? How have you seen God use that quality in you?