Let’s face it, ladies, we have a really, REALLY important job… We are in charge of the home, the food, the clothes, the children and doing it on zero sleep, with kinds words, reserving our tongues when we want to fly off the handle all while wearing awesome handmade clothes. So, what’s your problem if that doesn’t sound Monday-Sunday for you?
No woman shaming there… lol! So how do we become a Proverbs 31 wife that your husband is proud of?
Marriage is something so beautiful, but it can leave you feeling so depleted. You can grab 7 Proverbs 31 Wife Encouragement Cards here to print!
If you’ve ever read Proverbs 31:10-31, you probably thought, “This lady doesn’t even exist!” And you’d be right… She is a wife who is perfect for Christ.
Bride of christ
So, why is the church called the bride of Christ?
In Jewish traditions, the groom paid a price for his bride, left his father’s home to travel to his bride, took her back to his home and married her.
However, the bride never knew when he would be coming for her. She was to be ready and waiting, but her groom’s arrival time was not made known.
This is symbolic of how Jesus paid a price for us, His bride, and how He will come back one day and take us to His Father’s house – a place He is preparing for us! We, also, don’t know the time He is coming!
Thus, we are to be prepared for Him and clothed in strength and dignity, just as a bride would be as beautifully adorned as she could be, on her wedding day.
Learn to pray for your marriage how a Proverbs 31 Woman would pray! Grab The Wife Who Prays: 31 Prayers for Your Husband + Prayer Journal now!
I am just blown away by how many times I could read this series of verses. Proverbs 31:10-31 is my favorite set of verses in the whole Bible…
The reason I love it is because it is super literal. It isn’t like, “Hey, don’t sin and be a great wife!” It tells me all of the things that are expected of a wife and as the woman of the family.
Maybe you’re like me, wishing your husband was as proud of you as he was when you were dating… I used to feel like his prize. As time went by though, we have fought and I have shown him sides of myself that aren’t prize-like.
As I re-read the verses of a Proverbs 31 wife, I desire for God to inch me toward those characteristics every day. I yearn for my husband to see me changing before his eyes, as well. I want him to see God in me more every day.
Characteristics of a Proverbs 31 Wife
So what exactly are the characteristics this total babe has?
Proverbs 31:11 states, Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down.
“Never lets him down”… Let that sink in for a bit.
Loving & Caring
Proverbs 31:12 states, She is good to him every day of her life.
Proverbs 31:27 states, She takes good care of her family and is never lazy.
and she helps the poor and the needy. Proverbs 31:20
Girlfriend, this gal makes her own clothes… There’s no keeping up with her! 😉
Proverbs 31:13 states, and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes.
Luckily, God created us all in His image and gave us our own ways of being creative and providing for our families.
Proverbs 31:14 states, She is like a sailing ship that brings food from across the sea.
When I read this, I always think of a farmer’s wife who is running meals to her husband in the field and his hired help.
So, maybe you feel like you spend 24/7 in the kitchen between preparing snacks, meals and cleaning up. Take heart. It is basically its own full-time position.
Proverbs 31:15, She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants.
Proverbs 31:18, She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night.
For instance, all the restless nights staying up with a newborn and then hopping out of bed the next morning when your toddler wakes up at 6 am and wants breakfast! Only, pretty sure I whined about it… (sigh)
Becoming a Proverbs 31 wife: Good insight
So, I really love this one because I feel like there is something to be said about a woman’s intuition…
Proverbs 31:21, Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn’t worry when it snows.
As a woman, I think we can spot needs that men are kind of oblivious to.
Hey, girl, hey!
Proverbs 31:22 states, She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful.
This explains the desire to shop ladies…
Proverbs 31:25 states, She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future.
Let me just say, when my marriage isn’t going the smoothest, it is hard to be cheerful. Thus, it is hard to be excited about the future.
However, repeatedly reading these verses and praying for God to change me has helped my marriage tremendously!
BECOMING A PROVERBS 31 WIFE: Thoughtful
Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful. Proverbs 31:26
She is noble and thoughtful. Here, I see God saying a noble wife doesn’t get caught up in gossip. She gives her friends wisdom from the Bible. She doesn’t give advice her friends want to hear but loving advice they need to hear.
her family is proud
And how we all aspire to be seen by our family…
Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says, “There are many good women, but you are the best!” Proverbs 31:28-29
So, I don’t know about you, but I feel like my heart would explode!
This type of comment is nothing in comparison though to hoping to one day hear, ” Well done, good and faithful servant!” Matthew 25:23
Honors the Lord
Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the Lord deserves to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
Proverbs 31 wife respects and praises other women
Show her respect–praise her in public for what she has done. Proverbs 31:31
Thus, if you know a hard-working servant of the Lord thank her, praise her and compliment her! I love this verse, because there are so many working parts to the body of Christ and it’s easy to forget how meaningful every part is.
How to become a proverbs 31 wife
So, how do we become a Proverbs 31 Wife, when we know she is perfect? Grace and baby steps:
When I first got married, I thought my husband’s main goal in life would be to make me happy and life would be like when we were dating. He would care all about not hurting my feelings, yadda yadda. It’s laughable, but a hopeless romantic’s dream.
Turns out my marriage is as good as I’m serving him.
Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down. She is good to him every day of her life, and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes. Proverbs 31:11-13
I am outspoken. I share too much. Speak without thinking first. My husband’s decisions are suggestions. My children are priority; he is a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Yes, I’ve thought these and probably said these to my friends. None of which are indicative of showing respect or having a servant’s heart…
Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33
For most of us, fighting causes anxiety and we feel defensive. So, fighting fair is a hard thing to remember in the moment. You can find out what fight fair looks like here.
Read the Bible Daily
Daily or twice a day, if needed.
I’m sure anyone who reads this blog regularly is probably like, “Yeah we get it Jenna, you read the Bible every night”. But seriously–life-changing. Marriage changing.
When you’re happy, pray. When you’re sad, pray. If you’re excited, pray. If you’re frustrated, pray.
It’s hard to admit how little we can do ourselves and how much we need God.
God can soften your heart and your husband’s toward His will. He can make you a wise woman, who looks more and more like a Proverbs 31 wife every day!
Becoming a proverbs 31 wife when my husband isn’t being the spiritual leader of our family
When my husband and I first started dating, I felt like I was torturing him every time I asked if he would come to church. I don’t think this is uncommon for a lot of women and wives, honestly.
For instance, I remember having one conversation with him about having a family and he shared that he would never be the husband that goes to church every Sunday.
It made my stomach hurt. My husband isn’t one to sugar coat things, just to make people like him. He is honest and genuine, something I am grateful for. Yet, I thought to myself, how am I, yet again, in a relationship with someone unwilling to put God first?!
You can read more about my story of feeling like I married the wrong person here.
The “Don’t Worry, I’ll save him” mindset
In relationships, I’ve always been the girl to think, “Oh, I’ll change him. He will learn to love God one day… I’ll just stick it out!” I thought I was full of faith and not just a hopeless romantic.
I don’t recommend anyone jumping into a holy union with an unbeliever, as marriage is hard enough even with a believing spouse. However, I praise God, He blessed me with a man whose heart He has softened over time.
1 Peter 3:1 states, Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.
Girlfriend, you have the Holy Spirit living within you. Let Him show your husband Himself! So, let the Holy Spirit doing the talking, not you.
Grab my Becoming a proverbs 31 wife encouragement cards
Get your Proverbs 31 Wife Encouragement Cards here!
Here, there are 7 cards to leave all around your house, work, car, wherever to encourage you to seek God first in your marriage, so everything else falls into place just as it should! Being a wife isn’t an easy job. So, girlfriend, grab some biblical pep talk verses and prayers!
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Becoming A Proverbs 31 wife in progress
Lastly, I am in no way a Proverbs 31 wife. Patiently, God has been changing me the past two years. He has shown me how to put Him first and how that puts my husband second, not our kids, not work, etc.
Thus, it has changed our marriage for the better times a million. I have learned to serve him and love him more every day.
Want to learn even more about the Proverbs Woman? Click here to head over to Graceful Abandon for another take on her!